{"id":187,"date":"2014-07-24T04:00:53","date_gmt":"2014-07-24T08:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/?p=187"},"modified":"2026-04-01T16:21:52","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T16:21:52","slug":"i-now-present-you-for-the-first-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/2014\/07\/24\/i-now-present-you-for-the-first-time\/","title":{"rendered":"I now present you for the first time&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I recently did a wedding for a Spanish couple who are\u00a0friends with someone who attends New Day. I met the couple for the first time the day of the wedding. We hit it off pretty good, and everything initially went off without a hitch. By my estimation\u00a0things couldn&#8217;t have been going any better&#8230;<em>until<\/em>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>At the very end of the ceremony when it came time for the presentation\u00a0(the part of the ceremony where, having declared the couple\u00a0husband and wife, I present the couple for the first time). So here I was, having nailed every part of the ceremony&#8230;I have <em>one sentence to go<\/em>&#8230;fourteen simple words and it&#8217;s\u00a0mission accomplished&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s what I said&#8230;I now present to you for the very first time Mr. &amp; Mrs. Randolph <em>Cojones<\/em>!!!<\/p>\n<p>The only problem was that the last name was <em>Quinones,\u00a0<\/em>not <em>Cojones (<\/em>which when translated to English means <em>balls!!<\/em>). When they erupted in laughter &#8211; and I mean <em>erupted<\/em> &#8211; my five years of Spanish classes kicked in and I realized what I said.<\/p>\n<p>I learned two things from epic wedding fail: 1) There&#8217;s no recovering from something like this. This is only one step below asking a woman if she&#8217;s pregnant when she isn&#8217;t. 2) You should figure out how to pronounce the name before the ceremony, not during! Doing so could save you a lot of embarrassment! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I recently did a wedding for a Spanish couple who are\u00a0friends with someone who attends New Day. I met the couple for the first time the day of the wedding. We hit it off pretty good, and everything initially went off without a hitch. By my estimation\u00a0things couldn&#8217;t have been going any better&#8230;until&#8230; At the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":188,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-187","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-failures","8":"entry"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Mike","author_link":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/author\/mike\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=187"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1253,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187\/revisions\/1253"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}