This is a question I was asked recently and in this post I’ll do my best to answer it. Throughout the post, anytime I mention the wedding, I mean to include the reception as part of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anytime you\u2019re trying to make a God-honoring decision about anything<\/em>, it begins with asking and answering this<\/em> question: What does Scripture teach on this?<\/strong> God\u2019s will is revealed through His Word, so the decision making process begins with trying to get a grasp of God\u2019s will related to the topic at hand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And since we live in the information age, it\u2019s never been easier to discover what Scripture teaches on a topic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n From these kinds of searches you can find experts who have dedicated their lives – or at a minimum, spent considerable amounts of time studying the topic at hand – and you can learn from them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now when you do this, what you want to do is make note of the Scripture verses that are mentioned. Sadly, some people make their arguments without them being grounded in Scripture. The apostle Paul calls such people \u201c\u2026empty talkers\u2026\u201d Titus 1:10 ESV What they say sounds<\/em> good, but in the end, it\u2019s empty of truth. So we have to listen for the relevant Scripture verses and then make note of them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, once you\u2019ve made note of them, go ahead and study them in context. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was asked \u201cCan a staff member attend a gay wedding?\u201d this is exactly what I did. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And today I\u2019m going to walk you through my study. My aim is not to cover everything there is to say on this topic, rather to share some of the most relevant passages to consider (in the order they appear in our Bible) along with reasonable conclusions we can reach from studying them. By reasonable<\/em>, I mean conclusions that can be reached without stretching the text. Here we go! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Genesis 2:24-25 ESV, \u201cTherefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: In the Old Testament God defined marriage as being between a man and woman. From this we learn that a homosexual union is not marriage<\/em>. Our ungodly culture calls<\/em> it marriage but this is not marriage as defined by God. So one contemplating attending a gay wedding has to ask: In attending, am I upholding<\/em> God\u2019s definition of marriage, or helping to redefine<\/em> it? If in any way, our actions help to redefine marriage (even if that\u2019s not our intention<\/em>) we\u2019ll find ourselves in rebellion against God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Leviticus 18:22 NLT, \u201cDo not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.\u201d Leviticus 20:13 ESV, \u201cIf a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: If practicing the homosexual lifestyle<\/em> is a detestable abomination to God, then so is a ceremony<\/em> that would permanently fix a couple in that lifestyle. So we have to ask: On what grounds can we claim that God would permit us to celebrate something He says is a detestable abomination? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Psalm 5:4, For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: In this verse, David is asserting that God is a holy and righteous God. He does not take pleasure in sin or evil. Instead, He hates it and punishes those who commit it. This verse is a reminder that God is not indifferent to sin. He cares about what is right and wrong, and He will ultimately judge those who do evil. A wedding is a celebration – a celebration that those in attendance are to delight in. Since we know that God doesn’t delight in wickedness, how can we? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Isaiah 5:20 NIV84, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: “Woe” is a pronouncement of judgment<\/em>. So when we act as if something that is evil is good we invite God’s judgment. We may not be saying<\/em> “This gay marriage is good” but actions<\/em> speak louder than words, and when you attend, that is exactly how the vast majority of people will understand your being there (i.e., as a statement of your approval and support of what’s going on). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ezekiel 8:18-19 NLT, <\/strong>[God said to Ezekiel] If I warn the wicked, saying, \u2018You are under the penalty of death,\u2019 but you fail to deliver the warning, they will die in their sins. And I will hold you responsible for their deaths. If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Our ministry to unrepentant sinners is to warn them of the coming judgment, not to make them feel comfortable as they approach it. We have to ask: Will my attending this wedding help steer the couple away<\/em> from a sinful path or encourage<\/em> them to stay on it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n In Matthew 6:2, 6:5 and 6:16 Jesus condemns hypocrisy in its various forms. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: To publicly endorse what we privately condemn is to practice hypocrisy, which sinful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Matthew 9:10-13 ESV, And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, \u201cWhy does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?\u201d But when he heard it, he said, \u201cThose who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: \u2018I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.\u2019 For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Some read this and conclude that attending a gay wedding is one way that modern day believers can follow in the footsteps of Jesus by spending time with sinners, which begs the question: Is<\/em> this the case? <\/p>\n\n\n\n When Jesus was with sinners, his purpose was clear: To call sinners to repentance (Matthew 9:13). When Jesus spent time with \u201csinners\u201d his message to the sinner was \u201c\u2026repent<\/em> and believe in the gospel.\u201d (Mark 1:15 ESV) We see a great example of this when Jesus spent time with the sexually immoral woman at the well. Jesus loved her, not through his silence<\/em> about her sin or by showing support<\/em> for her sin, rather Jesus loved her by confronting<\/em> her sin (John 4:16-18). So to equate attending a gay wedding with Jesus spending time with sinners is an argument that sounds good from far but turns out to be far from good. You have to ask yourself: If I attend this wedding will I be sharing the gospel and calling sinners to repentance? And if the answer is no, the next question to ask is: Then in what specific way am I acting like Jesus in attending? <\/p>\n\n\n\n I know of a ministry called XXX Church who hands out Bibles at porn conventions. While I know that I personally<\/em> would never be able to participate in this ministry, I do not judge those who do because at the event, by handing out Bibles, they are sharing the gospel with sinners and calling them to repentance. Is this what you\u2019ll be doing at the wedding? And if not, then again, you have to ask yourself: Then in what specific way am I acting like Jesus by attending? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Matthew 14:3-4 ESV, For Herod had seized John and bound him and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip\u2019s wife, because John had been saying to him, \u201cIt is not lawful for you to have her.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: On a trip to Rome, Herod Antipas, who was the Roman governor of Galilee, had taken a liking to Herodias, who was the wife of his brother Philip. So while in Rome he seduced her. When he returned to Galilee, Herod divorced his own wife, stole Herodias from his brother, and married her. In this situation, though John desired to reach Herod with the gospel, he didn\u2019t attend his wedding to show support, he publicly confronted Herod and called the wedding sin (an act for which he was promptly thrown into prison and was eventually beheaded). So what we have here is a Scriptural precedent for how to respond to a sinful wedding – and the precedent is to show dissent<\/em>, not support. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I had a friend growing up who decided to get married very quickly (as a teenager) and her father objected. He told her \u201cWait one year and then<\/em> I\u2019ll give my blessing and pay for everything.\u201d But she refused to wait. So at the wedding, when the minister asked if anyone objected to the union, her father stood up and protested. Now on that day – the day of her wedding – my friend probably thought her dad was the worst. But a few years later, after her husband\u2019s drinking problems and the divorce that followed, she no doubt felt very differently about her dad – the one who had tried to warn her of what she was getting herself into. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If, like my friend\u2019s dad (or John the Baptist), you want to show up and protest – show up and dissent, you would definitely have biblical grounds for doing so. But the question begs: Are there biblical grounds for simply attending? And if so, what are they? Where is that<\/em> precedent set? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Matthew 19:4-5 ESV, \u201cHave you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, \u2018Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?\u2019\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: In the New Testament Jesus upholds<\/em> God\u2019s definition of marriage as being between a man and woman. Jesus had the opportunity<\/em> to redefine marriage but didn\u2019t. From Jesus we learn that we\u2019re to uphold God\u2019s definitions and standards, not help to redefine or relax them. So as disciples of Jesus (learners of the words and ways of Jesus) we\u2019ll want to work to uphold God\u2019s definition of marriage, just like Jesus did. So we have to ask ourselves: In what way am I helping to uphold<\/em> God\u2019s definition of marriage by attending a gay wedding? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Jesus told us plainly that following him would come at a cost. This is why he said to \u201c\u2026count the cost\u2026\u201d (Luke 14:28) before deciding to become one of his disciples. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: It will sometimes cost us dearly<\/em> to follow Jesus. What cost might we pay for following Jesus? <\/p>\n\n\n\n If we decline an invitation to a gay wedding, it will likely result in varying degrees of persecution. We may be lied about, mischaracterized, called a bigot, etc. But this is only exactly<\/em> what Jesus told us would happen when we follow him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now when faced with such an outcome, it\u2019s only natural for us to want to avoid it. But this is where we need to be very<\/em> careful. This is the point at which we might be tempted to justify sinful behavior (e.g., attend the wedding\/reception) by citing all kinds of Christian sounding arguments (that are not), when in reality what we\u2019re really<\/em> doing is trying to escape the persecution God promised his followers would experience (2 Timothy 3:12). <\/p>\n\n\n\n John 3:16 ESV, \u201cFor God so loved the world\u2026\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Some believers claim that in attending a gay wedding they are following God\u2019s example of showing love to the lost. But is this the case? <\/p>\n\n\n\n We have to understand that God\u2019s definition of love and the world\u2019s definition of love are polar<\/em> opposite<\/em>. The world says love is showing support by attending the wedding\/reception. But as we learned above, God says love is warning people (Ezekiel 3:18-19) when they\u2019re on the broad road that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13). <\/p>\n\n\n\n If a loved one is in a house that\u2019s on fire, it is not loving to help them feel comfortable as they\u2019re consumed in the flames. Love<\/em> would call out \u201cGet out! Get out! You\u2019re going to die! Run!\u201d Hatred<\/em> would be to say nothing. Hatred would be to not<\/em> try and deter them from staying in the house. Hatred would be to do something that would help them think it\u2019s a good idea to stay<\/em> in the house. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So the question becomes: Which kind of love are you going to choose to practice, our culture\u2019s or God\u2019s? Many Christians say \u201cI\u2019m going to be loving\u201d without realizing that they\u2019re loving by culture\u2019s<\/em> standard, not God\u2019s<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n John 7:7 ESV, <\/strong>[Jesus said] \u201cThe world\u2026hates me because I testify\u2026that its works are evil.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Receiving an invitation to attend a gay wedding should cause us to honestly evaluate this question: Have I sufficiently testified that homosexual behavior is sinful and needs to be repented of? When Jesus testified to people\u2019s sinfulness, it typically resulted in repentance<\/em> or hatred<\/em>. We have to ask: How is it that my<\/em> approach to evangelism results in a wedding invitation while Jesus\u2019<\/em> approach resulted in hatred? This is not an accusation that anyone who receives an invitation to a gay wedding hasn\u2019t sufficiently witnessed, but with that said, receiving an invitation should cause us to pause to ask these difficult, and soul-searching questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Romans 1 Paul shares four reasons for why no one will have any excuse for not knowing God on the day of judgment. One of the four reasons listed is because man has knowingly exchanged morality (the morality God has written on each of our hearts) for perversity. And listed among the perverse things we\u2019ve exchanged morality for is the sin of homosexuality. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Since homosexuality is one of many different sins that will eternally damn a person to hell on judgment day, followers of Jesus should have no part in helping people feel comfortable in practicing it, or in helping people celebrate it, or in helping people become permanently fixed in it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In Romans 1:32 we see God\u2019s strictest condemnation of both those who practice sinful behaviors and those who \u201c\u2026give approval to those who practice them.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Regardless of your intentions<\/em>, your very presence communicates approval and support of a lifestyle God declares to be immoral and unnatural (Romans 1:26-27). Even if you\u2019ve communicated your views to the couple, there\u2019s no way to communicate those views to everyone<\/em> present, so at least some of the people present would understand your being there as an expression of your support and approval of the union. This of course is the last thing we, as Christians, would want to communicate (support and approval of something sinful). <\/p>\n\n\n\n As someone once put it, “We support an alcoholic friend by helping him refrain from drinking, not by going to a bar with him. We support a friend addicted to pornography by making him accountable and getting him help, not by helping organize his magazine collection or creating more hard drive space on his computer. In the same way, we support a homosexual friend by helping him out of the lifestyle, not by supporting and celebrating his wedding. We do not truly help our friends by attending an event where their sin is applauded.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n Romans 14:1-4 ESV, \u201cAs for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Here we learn that some issues are not black and white, and that what might be wrong for one believer might not be wrong for another – and we\u2019re not to pass judgment if the issue is truly just a matter of opinion and not a matter of right and wrong. This begs the question: Is attending a gay wedding a matter of opinion? That is, is it a gray area<\/em> – what the NIV calls a disputable matter<\/em>? <\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Some people conclude that just because Scripture doesn\u2019t specifically<\/em> mention whether or not it\u2019s ok to attend a gay wedding, that they are free to classify it as a \u201cdisputable matter.\u201d But this is to misunderstand the biblical definition of what counts as a disputable matter. A disputable matter is something about which the Bible does not give clear directive<\/em>, not something the Bible doesn\u2019t specifically mention<\/em>. If something is not specifically mentioned in the Word of God, then we must draw principles from the teaching of the whole of Scripture, not automatically classify it as a disputable matter. For instance\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pretend an unsaved friend invited you to his bachelor party, to be held at a strip club. Would you conclude that just because the Bible doesn\u2019t specifically condemn attending a bachelor party at a strip club that this should be classified as a disputable matter? Of course not! Even though the Bible doesn\u2019t speak to it specifically<\/em>, you still know that it would be wrong because of the weight of Scriptural teaching around that topic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you know that the Bible doesn\u2019t have a single verse that specifically<\/em> condemns a grown man molesting someone else\u2019s child? Does that mean it\u2019s automatically classified as a disputable matter? Of course not! Even though the Bible doesn\u2019t speak to it specifically<\/em>, you know that it would be wrong because of the weight of Scriptural teaching around that topic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So it is for a Christian attending a gay wedding. There\u2019s nothing specific about it in Scripture, yet we still know that it would be wrong <\/em>because of the weight of Scriptural teaching around that topic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In 1 Corinthians 5 the apostle Paul is addressing sexual immorality in the church at Corinth that’s being committed by someone who claims to be a disciple of Jesus. Paul instructs the believers: You aren\u2019t to judge unbelievers<\/em> living in unrepentant sin, but you are to judge fellow believers<\/em> living in unrepentant sin (vv.9-13). <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Sadly, some Christians have interpreted \u201cdon\u2019t judge unbelievers\u201d to mean \u201chelp celebrate sin\u201d but this is a faulty interpretation. Paul is 100% correct\u2026We\u2019re not<\/em> to expect unbelievers to live according to the standard of God\u2019s Word. We\u2019re not to judge their life by the standard of Scripture because they aren\u2019t disciples of Jesus. But this instruction in no way gives us permission to help celebrate their sin. Just as we can’t judge unbelievers, neither can we help celebrate their sin (Romans 1:32, 1 Corinthians 13:6). <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 ESV \u201cI wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people\u2014 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Here the apostle Paul is clear: We are free to associate with sinners. So can we accept an invitation to lunch or dinner or a birthday party for a gay couple? Or can we ourselves extend the invitation to a gay couple in our neighborhood or family to come over our<\/em> house for dinner? Absolutely! This provides the context in which we, like Jesus, can share the gospel with sinners. But attending their wedding is something entirely<\/em> different. In having them over your house, you are not helping to redefine a God-ordained institution, nor are you celebrating their sin. But in attending a gay wedding, you\u2019re doing both (which is part of what makes attending a gay wedding wrong). <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV, Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Anyone practicing the homosexual lifestyle is walking down a path that leads to hell. In attending the ceremony and in toasting and dancing and feasting at the reception are you dissuading<\/em> the couple from continuing down that path or encouraging<\/em> them? We would never support or celebrate any of the other sins listed in 1 Corinthians 6, so why would we feel comfortable celebrating the sin of homosexuality? Would you attend a religious service where idols were being worshipped? Would you attend a swingers party where adultery was encouraged? Would you attend a party where thieves got together to celebrate all the items they had stolen? Would you attend a party where everyone was getting drunk? And if you wouldn\u2019t because all these things are condemned in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, then on what basis are you making an exception for a celebration of homosexuality<\/em>? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s think about it this way\u2026Imagine with me that you had a racist friend that you were trying to win to Christ. And imagine he invited you to klan meeting where he was being honored for advancing white supremacy in your region. Would you go? I suspect not because as a Christian you know from God\u2019s Word that there are just certain things you cannot help support or celebrate. Well, same goes for attending a gay wedding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV, \u201c\u2026because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: In this passage the apostle Paul upholds the definition of marriage that God the Father laid out in Genesis 2 and that God the Son upheld in Matthew 19. Jesus didn\u2019t cave to culture. Paul didn\u2019t cave to culture. They courageously upheld<\/em> God\u2019s definition of marriage. Are we<\/em> not called to do the same? <\/p>\n\n\n\n In 1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV Paul says of love that \u201c\u2026it does not rejoice at wrongdoing\u2026\u201d The NIV84 says “Love does not delight in evil…” The NASB says love “..does not rejoice in unrighteousness.” The NKJV says love “…does not rejoice in iniquity.” <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: Sin is an occasion for sorrow, not for joy. We\u2019re never to rejoice in (i.e., celebrate<\/em>) sin. Attending a gay wedding creates quite the challenge on this front, such that it would be difficult, if not impossible to attend without your presence communicating celebration and support for what is taking place. Here\u2019s why\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n So here\u2019s the logical flow of thought: 1) Christians are forbidden to celebrate wrongdoing. 2) To attend a gay wedding is to help celebrate wrongdoing. Therefore, 3) attending a gay wedding is forbidden. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember: When we celebrate that which is wrong, instead of culture being Christianized, the church becomes paganized. This is backward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In 2 Corinthians 5:20 ESV Paul says \u201c\u2026we are ambassadors for Christ\u2026\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: An ambassador functions as a representative of a ruling authority. And as Christians, we are representatives of Christ on the earth. So what we\u2019re for is what unbelievers will conclude Jesus<\/em> is for. What we\u2019re against is what unbelievers will conclude Jesus<\/em> is against. What we do is what unbelievers will conclude Jesus<\/em> will do. This raises the question: In attending a gay wedding, am I doing what Jesus would do? If the weight of biblical teaching supports<\/em> the theory that Jesus would attend a gay wedding, then in attending we\u2019re modeling Jesus to the unbelievers present at the wedding. But if the weight of biblical teaching opposes<\/em> attending a gay wedding, then in attending we\u2019re misrepresenting<\/em> Jesus to the unbelievers present at the wedding (which is the opposite of what an ambassador is supposed to do). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Galatians 1:10 ESV, \u201cFor am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: You will feel pressure to love by the world\u2019s standards vs God\u2019s but you have to choose who you\u2019re going to please in this life, God or man. The goal for a Christian isn\u2019t to please the couple that\u2019s extended an invite to their wedding, or to please extended family or co-workers or your boss. The goal for a Christian is to please Christ<\/em>. So the question is: Who will I aim to please? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Hebrews 13:4 ESV, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n REASONABLE CONCLUSION: We are<\/em> to honor marriage as defined by God. This implies that we are not<\/em> to honor marriage as defined by anyone other than God. Yet, by attending a gay wedding, we honor the couple getting married. The wedding invitation only confirms this, whereas it usually reads something along these lines, \u201cWe would love for you to honor us with your presence at our upcoming wedding.\u201d As disciples of Jesus, we are exhorted to honor marriage as defined by God, and forbidden to honor marriage that is not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ok, now that we\u2019ve covered most of the relevant passages that would speak to the question at hand (Can a New Day staff member attend a gay wedding?), let me now address a number of common objections that may or may not have been covered above. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 1:<\/strong> But me not<\/em> attending might permanently damage this relationship! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: The clear teaching of Scripture is not invalidated if following it results in damage to a relationship. While we don\u2019t seek<\/em> to damage a relationship, we must follow God\u2019s Word, and sometimes we will<\/em> damage relationships in doing so. But this is only exactly what Jesus told us would happen (Matthew 10:34-37) if we follow him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 2:<\/strong> But Christians are supposed to try and reach the lost with the gospel and that\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to do! My presence could possibly open future doors for evangelism!<\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: Our approach to evangelism has to be constrained by the boundaries set in Scripture. Attending your unsaved best friend\u2019s bachelor party at a strip club might open future doors for evangelism, but it would be wrong because that approach to evangelism falls outside the boundaries God has set in Scripture. The same goes for attending a gay wedding for evangelistic purposes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 3:<\/strong> But Christians are supposed to love sinners! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: Yes, but we\u2019re to love them God\u2019s<\/em> way, not culture\u2019s<\/em> way. It is not loving to help people feel comfortable as they careen down a path that leads them to hell. This is hatred, not love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 4:<\/strong> But sometimes Christians attend the wedding of a believer and an unbeliever or the wedding of someone who was sinfully divorced! Why do we make exceptions for some sinful situations but not others? <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: Two wrongs don\u2019t make a right. The answer to hypocrisy and inconsistency isn\u2019t more<\/em> hypocrisy and more<\/em> inconsistency. If someone is being inconsistent, the answer is to start being consistent, not to make further compromises. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 5:<\/strong> I think my accepting the invitation is courageous<\/em>, knowing the grief I\u2019ll get from the religious community! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: It is not courageous to go with the flow of culture and dodge the inevitable criticism that declining an invitation would evoke. When we take a stand for Christ our culture tries to bully us into silence, threatens us, censors us, de-platforms us, penalizes us and calls us names. To take a course of action that avoids the persecution that\u2019s supposed<\/em> to come when we follow Jesus (2 Timothy 3:12) is anything but courageous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 6:<\/strong> In attending I\u2019m being like Jesus, who wasn\u2019t afraid to offend religious people! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: No you\u2019re not. Jesus was willing to offend with truth<\/em>, never with compromise<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 7:<\/strong> But I really feel led by the Holy Spirit to do this!<\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: The Holy Spirit will never lead you to do something that contradicts God\u2019s written Word. It\u2019s possible that you\u2019re confusing the leading of the Spirit with peer pressure. Culture is pressuring you to attend. Your family and friends may be pressuring you to attend. Your co-workers may be pressuring you to attend. The couple that\u2019s invited you may be pressuring you to attend. But this outside pressure should never be confused with the leading of the Holy Spirit. Again, the Holy Spirit will never lead you to do something that contradicts God\u2019s written Word. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 8:<\/strong> But I know a grandmother, who refused to attend her child\u2019s gay wedding, and now she has never even met her grandchild! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: A story with a sad outcome does not invalidate God\u2019s Word. Despite the sad endings that sometimes result from following Jesus, God calls us to follow Jesus still. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 9:<\/strong> Stop judging me concerning a disputable matter! Romans 14 says not to! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: Just because something isn\u2019t mentioned specifically<\/em> in Scripture, doesn\u2019t mean we can automatically classify it as a disputable matter. Attending a bachelor party at a strip club isn\u2019t specifically mentioned in Scripture, yet we definitively know it\u2019s wrong because of the weight of biblical teaching that surrounds that topic. The same is true for attending a gay wedding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 10:<\/strong> But I don\u2019t want to offend the couple who invited me! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: In light of the Scriptural teaching that attending would be wrong, you ought to be more concerned about offending God than man (Galatians 1:10). <\/p>\n\n\n\n OBJECTION 12:<\/strong> But I love them! <\/p>\n\n\n\n RESPONSE: We are called to love God first (Matthew 6:33) and those who love God obey him (John 14:15), including his instruction not to celebrate sin (1 Corinthians 13:6). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ok, now that I\u2019ve covered most of the relevant Scripture verses as well as some of the more popular objections to what Scripture teaches, let me directly answer the question at hand: Can a New Day staff member attend a gay wedding? The answer is no. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In addition to all the passages listed above, there are some unique considerations for pastoral staff. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A final word:<\/strong> Any time I teach on this topic, there are those who look to dismiss what I’ve said on the following grounds: <\/p>\n\n\n\n As to the first indictment, I have gone through many<\/em> drafts of this post over the last six weeks. I have wrote and rewrote. I have asked for feedback and rewrote. I have reread and then rewrote again and again. This is my best<\/em> effort to give a biblical defense with gentleness and respect<\/em>. Nevertheless, if you still<\/em> feel I missed the mark, I would ask that you try to distinguish between 1) truth that is shared without<\/em> gentleness and respect and 2) truth that is shared with<\/em> gentleness and respect that is nevertheless still offensive (to our secular culture’s sensibilities, which you may be influenced by more than you realize). <\/p>\n\n\n\n As to the second indictment, I think the indictment itself reveals more about the accuser’s faulty understanding of grace than it does my faulty approach to teaching on this topic. Grace<\/em> is God’s kindness shown to undeserving sinners (in that salvation from the penalty for sin is offered to all). Since Jesus came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10), he was the perfect embodiment of grace. But Jesus being gracious does not, and cannot<\/em> mean, that he never said anything offensive or counter-cultural. In fact, it was because<\/em> his message was so offensive and counter-cultural that Jesus said \u201cThe world…hates me because I testify\u2026that its works are evil.\u201d John 7:7 ESV Jesus was always friendly towards<\/em> sinners, meaning, he was always willing to share the gospel with anyone far from God, including despised Samaritans and tax collectors. But just because he was friendly towards sinners doesn’t mean that they all loved Jesus. They didn’t<\/em>, which is why Jesus told his disciples \u201cIf the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” John 15:18 ESV All this to say: Just because some of what I said above may be considered offensive and counter-cultural doesn’t mean I missed the mark on embodying grace. It is because<\/em> I’m trying (with all my heart) to get all the world to accept God’s grace, that I’m heavy on truth. Make no mistake about it: Grace<\/em> can only be received through the transmission of truth<\/em> (Romans 10:14). Therefore, the Christian who is full of truth, is also full of grace. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This is a question I was asked recently and in this post I’ll do my best to answer it. Throughout the post, anytime I mention the wedding, I mean to include the reception as part of it. Anytime you\u2019re trying to make a God-honoring decision about anything, it begins with asking and answering this question: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-794","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-position-papers","7":"entry"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Mike","author_link":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/author\/mike\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=794"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1301,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794\/revisions\/1301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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