{"id":817,"date":"2023-09-25T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-25T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/?p=817"},"modified":"2026-04-01T16:20:58","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T16:20:58","slug":"setting-the-example-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/2023\/09\/25\/setting-the-example-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Setting the Example: Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The apostle Paul instructed a young pastor named Timothy \u201cLet no one despise you for your youth, but <strong>set the believers an example<\/strong> in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.\u201d 1 Timothy 4:12 ESV&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the same instruction the apostle Peter gave. Addressing pastors he wrote \u201cAs a fellow elder, I appeal to you: Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly\u2014not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don\u2019t lord it over the people assigned to your care, <strong>but lead them by your own good example.\u201d <\/strong>1 Peter 5:1-3 NLT<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The word <em>example<\/em> here (\u03c4\u03cd\u03c0\u03bf\u03c2) means \u201cpattern,\u201d or \u201cmodel,\u201d which is what a pastor ought to be to the flock. While none of us will be a perfect example, the people who attend our church (generally speaking) ought to be able to look at our lives and see what a godly life looks like. And according to Paul, we\u2019re to set the example in at least five areas: speech, conduct, love, faith and purity. And in this post we\u2019re focusing in on setting an example in love (\u1f00\u03b3\u03ac\u03c0\u1fc3).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love is <em>the<\/em> <em>supreme<\/em> characteristic that our lives as Christians ought to marked by. As the apostle Peter put it \u201c<em>Above all<\/em>, keep loving one another earnestly\u2026\u201d 1 Peter 4:8 ESV And as Paul put it \u201cThree things will last forever\u2014faith, hope, and love\u2014and <em>the greatest of these<\/em> is love.\u201d 1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love is to be the supreme characteristic <em>in<\/em> <em>us<\/em> because love is the supreme characteristic <em>in<\/em> <em>God<\/em>. We read in 1 John 4:8 that \u201cGod is love\u201d and learn from Ephesians 5 that we are therefore called to \u201c\u2026be imitators of God\u2026\u201d (v.1) and likewise \u201c\u2026walk in love\u2026\u201d (v.2). &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And we know how to do this because of Jesus\u2019 example. When Jesus came to earth he was the perfect embodiment of love in that he willingly laid his life down for us (John 15:13). And he now calls us to love <em>like him<\/em>. In Jesus\u2019 own words \u201cA new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: <em>just as I have loved you<\/em>, you also are to love one another. By <em>this<\/em> all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.\u201d John 13:34-35 ESV<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the question begs: How can we, mere mortals, love <em>as Jesus did<\/em>? Well, fortunately for us, the Holy Spirit helps us! As the apostle Paul put it, \u201cGod\u2019s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.\u201d Romans 5:5 ESV So <em>God\u2019s<\/em> <em>job<\/em> is to pour His love in our hearts and <em>our<\/em> <em>job<\/em> is to express that love through our actions. And no one tells us more clearly how to do this than the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In verses 1-3 Paul aims to show that we are nothing without love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The most skilled orator wouldn\u2019t impress God if his life was devoid of love (v.1).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The most powerful preacher wouldn\u2019t impress God if his life was devoid of love (v.2a).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The wisest person, who could fathom all the observable, <em>knowable<\/em> facts of the created universe, as well as all <em>unrevealed<\/em> divine mysteries would not impress God if his life was devoid of love (v.2b).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The most faith-filled person, who consistently trusts God to do mighty things &#8211; making the impossible possible &#8211; would not impress God if his life was devoid of love (v.2c).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The most generous person in the world &#8211; who gave all he had to the poor &#8211; would not impress God if his actions weren\u2019t motivated by love (v.3a).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Even if someone was willing to suffer martyrdom for Christ, God would not be impressed if he had not love. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that Paul has established that we are nothing without love (vv.1-3), he gives the most comprehensive biblical description of love in all the Bible (vv.4-7). His focus isn\u2019t on what love is (though he touches on that), rather on what love does and does not do. He lists fifteen things.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Love is patient (v.4a).<\/strong> This doesn\u2019t refer to having patience in circumstances (e.g., patiently waiting until you retire), rather having patience <em>with people<\/em>. It\u2019s not honking at the person in front of you that hasn\u2019t moved the split second the traffic light has turned green. It\u2019s not interrupting your spouse or kids when they\u2019re taking a long time to explain something.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love is kind (v.4b).<\/strong> This doesn\u2019t refer to having kind feelings, rather <em>doing<\/em> kind, helpful things for others.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love does not envy (v.4c).<\/strong> When others are successful, love is glad for them, never jealous or envious.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love does not boast (v.4d).<\/strong> This means to talk conceitedly &#8211; to brag about and parade your accomplishments in front of others, which love does not do. As Solomon said, \u201cLet another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.\u201d Proverbs 27:2 ESV&nbsp;Love praises others, not self. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love is not arrogant (v.4e).<\/strong> The Greek word translated \u201carrogant\u201d is <em>phusioumen<\/em>, which means &#8220;to be puffed up.&#8221; It is a metaphor for someone who is so full of themselves that they have become inflated, like a balloon. It is used to describe people who have an inflated sense of their own importance or abilities, and who look down on others. But love does not do this. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love is not rude (v.5a).<\/strong> Rude behavior refers to any action or word that is hurtful, disrespectful, or inconsiderate of others. Love is polite, courteous, respectful and considerate, not rude.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love doesn\u2019t insist on its own way (v.5b).<\/strong> That is, love is not <em>selfish<\/em>. Paul writes, \u201cLet each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.\u201d Philippians 2:4 ESV Love doesn\u2019t ask \u201cWhat do <em>I<\/em> want to do?\u201d Love asks \u201cWhat do <em>you<\/em> want to do?\u201d While this doesn\u2019t mean you can never do what you want, it does mean that as a rule, you prioritize what others want over what you want. Love puts others first.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love is not irritable (v.5c).<\/strong> The Greek word <em>paroxun\u014d<\/em>, here translated provoked, means to arouse to anger. It is a word that is used to describe someone who is easily angered or annoyed. Love guards against being irritated, upset, or angered by things said or done against it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love keeps no record of wrongs (v.5d).<\/strong> The Greek word <em>logizomai<\/em> means \u201cto reckon,\u201d \u201cto count,\u201d or \u201cto keep an account of.\u201d In the context of this verse, it means to hold on to grudges or to keep track of the wrongs that others have done to us. But love doesn\u2019t keep a record of wrongs. It forgives and moves on, never bringing the matter up again, just as God forgives us and chooses never to bring the matter up again.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love doesn\u2019t rejoice at wrongdoing (v.6a).<\/strong> When we see someone walking in sin, instead of with the Lord, it ought to grieve us greatly. We cannot celebrate with someone who is on the path to hell for sin is an occasion for sorrow, not for joy. If someone is walking in sin, we cannot go on our merry way and claim to be acting in love. Love does what it can to influence people towards repentance.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love rejoices with the truth (v.6b).<\/strong> A person who is loving wants everyone who isn\u2019t saved to be saved, and rejoices with the truth, because the truth is the means by which a person far from God can escape the penalty for sin, which is death.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love bears all things (v.7a).<\/strong> This basically speaks to choosing to overlook minor annoyances and wrongs vs making a big deal out of every issue. This is about making allowance for each other\u2019s faults (Colossians 3:13 NLT), and remembering that we are all in the process of being conformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). Both Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 5 let us know that there are times to confront serious sins or grave injustices. But here we learn that it\u2019s ok (and loving) to let the little stuff go.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love believes all things (v.7b). <\/strong>This is about choosing to believe <em>the best<\/em> about someone vs the worst. Unless there\u2019s good reason not to, we\u2019re to give the benefit of the doubt and assume the best, not the worst. This is what love does.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love hopes all things (v.7c).<\/strong> You might have a backslidden child, an unbelieving spouse, a family member who refuses to show interest in God, or a friend who has walked away from God. Love stays hopeful about God intervening in their lives and turning things around. Love keeps praying for them and hoping for the day when things will be different.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Love endures all things (v.7d).<\/strong> The Greek word <em>hupomenei<\/em> carries the idea of \u201cremaining\u201d or \u201cenduring.\u201d So this speaks to a persistence to love, even in the tough times. In wedding vows, a husband and wife take each other \u201cfor better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.\u201d There are tough times in marriage, but godly love endures through them. Likewise, there are tough times in all relationships, but godly love endures through them as well. It just keeps on being kind and patient, putting others first and believing for the best.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that Paul has established that we are nothing without love (vv.1-3) and listed various actions that love does and does not do (vv.4-7), he tells us about the permanence of love (vv.8-13).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Paul tells us that <em>spiritual gifts<\/em> will pass away. He says prophecies will pass away (v.8b), tongues will pass away (v.8c), and knowledge will pass away (v.8d). But he says of love, \u201cLove <em>never<\/em> ends\u201d (v8a).&nbsp;And this is why the litmus test for genuine conversion is <em>love<\/em>. As the apostle John put it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cBy this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.\u201d 1 John 3:10 ESV&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cWe know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.\u201d 1 John 3:14-15 ESV<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cBeloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.\u201d 1 John 4:7-8 ESV<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>So this is how <em>every<\/em> disciple of Jesus is called to love. And church leaders in particular are called to set a good example for the church by leading the way in loving like Jesus. This can be quite the challenge because candidly, people can test our patience at times. In light of this reality, I&#8217;ll end this post with this prayer\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201c\u2026May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all\u2026\u201d 1 Thessalonians 3:12 ESV&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>DISCUSSION QUESTION: Of the 15 things mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, where are you strongest and where are you weakest? What is one concrete thing you will do shore up your weakness? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The apostle Paul instructed a young pastor named Timothy \u201cLet no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.\u201d 1 Timothy 4:12 ESV&nbsp; This is the same instruction the apostle Peter gave. Addressing pastors he wrote \u201cAs a fellow elder, I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-817","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-leadership","7":"category-scripture","8":"category-staff","9":"entry"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Mike","author_link":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/author\/mike\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=817"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1210,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817\/revisions\/1210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/withskillfulhands.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}