The apostle Paul instructed a young pastor named Timothy “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 ESV
This is the same instruction the apostle Peter gave. Addressing pastors he wrote “As a fellow elder, I appeal to you: Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.” 1 Peter 5:1-3 NLT
The word example here (τύπος) means “pattern,” or “model,” which is what a pastor ought to be to the flock. While none of us will be a perfect example, the people who attend our church (generally speaking) ought to be able to look at our lives and see what a godly life looks like. And according to Paul, we’re to set the example in at least five areas: speech, conduct, love, faith and purity. And in this post we’re focusing in on setting an example with our speech (λόγος).
THE NEGATIVES
- We’re not to slander. As Solomon put it “The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.” Proverbs 10:18 ESV. Or consider the words of the apostle James “Brothers, do not slander one another…” James 4:11 NIV84 Now the question begs: What exactly is slander? Slander is making false and damaging statements about someone with the intent to harm their reputation.
- We’re not to gossip. Solomon said “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:13 NIV84 The Hebrew word for gossip is “mashal,” which means “to whisper” or “to tell secrets.” So gossip is sharing private or personal information about someone, often in a negative way. As the apostle Paul put it, gossips are people who go around “…saying what they should not.” 1 Timothy 5:13 ESV Now don’t confuse slander and gossip. Slander is making a false statement about someone while gossip is sharing private information about someone. Solomon speaks to the damaging effect gossip has when he states “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” Proverbs 16:28 NIV84
- We’re not to complain. Paul said “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” Philippians 2:14-15 ESV Likewise, the apostle James instructs, “Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door.” James 5:9 ESV To grumble is to complain in an intensive and excessive manner—to complain strongly.
- We’re not to speak in an unwholesome manner. Paul said, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths…” (Ephesians 4:29a, NIV84). “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:4 NIV84) The word unwholesome (σαπρός) refers to what is rotten. It was used of rotting fruit, vegetables or other spoiled food. And spoiled language is as foul to God as spoiled food is to us. So off-color jokes, profanity, dirty stories, vulgarity, double entendre and every other form of corrupt talk have no place in the life of a believer (never mind a pastor). As Paul put it “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8 NIV84
- We’re not to lie. Paul writes, “…having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor…” (Ephesians 4:25 ESV) Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” Colossians 3:9-10 NIV84
It’s because there are so many sinful pits we can fall into any time we open our mouths that Solomon warned “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” Proverbs 10:19 ESV So let us pray, as David did, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 ESV
Now so far we’ve only covered the negatives so let’s now turn our attention to the positives.
- We’re to keep our word. As Solomon put it “It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.” Ecclesiastes 5:5 NIV84
- We’re to give thanks. The psalmist wrote “Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!” Psalm 100:4 ESV Likewise, Paul commanded the believers at the church in Thessalonica, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV
- We’re to encourage. Paul instructed the Christians in Rome, “If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging.” Romans 12:8 NLT Or as the author of Hebrews put it “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” Hebrews 10:24 ESV
- We’re to dispense wisdom. In the Old Testament Solomon wrote “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9 ESV Likewise, in the New Testament the apostle Paul shared his expectation that believers be “… filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another” (Romans 15:14 ESV) that “…it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29a NIV84)
- We’re to warn. In regards to the unbeliever we warn them about the consequences of rejecting Christ (Colossians 1:28) and in regards to the believer we warn them of getting caught up in sin (Galatians 5:19-21).
- We’re to correct. When the life of a fellow brother or sister in Christ doesn’t conform to the teaching of Scripture, as much as we might not like it, it’s our Christian duty to bring the needed correction (Colossians 3:16) in a gentle and loving way (Galatians 6:1).
- We’re to pray. Jesus said “And when you pray…” Matthew 6:7 ESV Paul instructs believers “…pray without ceasing…” 1 Thessalonians 5:16 ESV
So we see that just as God has a plan for our life, so God has a plan for our mouth. And it’s so important that we fulfill God’s plan for our mouth because Jesus said, “…by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37 ESV That is, on judgment day books will be opened (Revelation 20:12) which will contain the record of the words we spoke. And a review will be made of our words to see if they give evidence of a regenerate heart. And that’s what determines salvation or condemnation. It’s in this sense that Jesus says the determining factor is “…your words…”
Again, none of us will be perfect, but the goal for those in church leadership is to set the example in our speech.